Diligent investigative reporting has revealed that the new commissioner appointee for the National Basketball Association has instituted his first dramatic rules change. As part of a sweeping effort to lure a larger fan base out the world’s female population and save costs, the commissioner has mandated a return to shorter uniform shorts.Our staff reporters dug up the following reasons, (not necessarily in any order of importance), that were given as grounds for the change. This vital basketball information will hopefully help you get a “leg up” on the new NBA season.Wearing Shorts or Longs?Since the early 1960’s the measurement of the inseam on a pair of professional basketball shorts has grown lengthily. Once upon a time, shorts were just that, short. Inseams averaged around 3 inches up until the early 1980’s when suddenly the hemline began to drop.Today many players sport shorts that actually could be mistaken for a dress — that would meet with the approval of the administrative staff at an all girls parochial school. Shorts today, (using that term loosely of course) frequently hang a few inches below the player’s kneecaps.The shorts worn in basketball currently are by definition no longer shorts, therefore need to be more accurately named. Maybe longs? The commissioner was overheard insisting that the NBA remain politically correct in word, therefore shorts will now return to being officially “short”.Cut Material CostsA primary responsibility of management personnel in every business is to monitor and enhance the cost effectiveness of the product. The commissioner astutely surmised that by cutting the length of the shorts by more than one half, a corresponding reduction in uniform budgets could be had.Reducing the length of the shorts by as much as a foot would save on the cost of materials including cloth, stitching, plus elastic. With the average cost of an authentic pair of NBA uniform shorts priced at around $150, the commissioner figured he could at worst swing a deal with the uniform manufacturers to chop 30 to 40 percent off the bottom line!Lure the LadiesNBA players are some of the most talented and physically gifted athletes in the world. It goes without saying that just about every player is going to have a nice pair of strapping legs. In his infinite wisdom to help increase the world’s female fan base, the new commissioner decided what a great concept it would be to show more of these legs.The muscular nature of an NBA player’s legs were deemed to have such immense potential to lure the ladies to the house, this was deemed the most impressive reason for clipping some length off the uniform shorts. To even further accent this change in the rules, the commissioner has announced that during player introductions each arena will play a clip of the 1970’s Nair commercial jingle, “we wear short shorts!”So, the shorts worn by professional basketball stars will once again really be shorts. This ruling from the commissioner’s office is being proclaimed to save costs by reducing the materials necessary to manufacture the new shorts.But most of all, watching a sexy pair of legs race up and down the hardwood will enthrall the women, therefore ballooning the female fan base in the NBA.For more sports satire and related humor contact your local comedy club or Not Sports Center LLC.